Tuesday, 30 April 2013

Penile Size: A Handy Chart

Something that men always ask me is: Am I too small? How do I compare with other men? Is it too big?

My answer is to direct them to my handy print-out-and-keep guide to penile size based around common household objects. In fact, I advise all men to hang a copy of this chart in a public place, such as a garage forecourt or in the window of a barber’s shop and help me to help them to eradicate the low self-esteem that seems to be particularly virulent at the moment.

The simple fact is that only one in ten men are the size of a small garden ornament and only one in two thousand are as big as a wheelbarrow. And if you're the size of a stepladder, I advise you to seek medical help or enter the circus, unless, of course, you have a nut allergy because, let's face it, people will want to feed it peanuts.