Some people would say that it’s unnatural for a 26 year old former swimwear model with natural 36DD breasts to lust after a BBC weatherman who looks like a Pokémon. But I know that you’re not that cruel kind of person to mock a woman just for confessing her deepest erotic fantasies in the form of a blog post.
You see, what I look for in a man is much more than a six foot five inch frame built for sin. I want a man who has mastered the elements. And Ben Rich is surely that man...
I sometimes sit there on my erotic space hopper watching him ‘do’ the weather (lucky weather!) and I find myself aroused by the way he masterfully pushes the warm fronts in from the Atlantic or brush the clouds off to one side. Then he’ll point at a spot on his map and he’ll say ‘It’s going to rain’ and guess what… Rain will begin to fall.
Oh, I think to myself, make it fall on me, Ben! Make it fall on me! And sometimes it does begin to fall on me. Sometimes it falls and my shirt becomes wet, the cloth sticking to my figure and becoming semi-transparent so Ben -- dear sweet little Ben -- would see the magnificence of my one and a half inch areola.
I also like the fact that he doesn’t come up to the top of the map like other weather men I could mention. I’m a tall woman but sometime I want a man whose nose would come no higher than my breasts. No need for him to stoop or me to climb a ladder. Everything just fits. It’s like Lego pieces made for adults. Things snap together. No mess. No fuss. Well, perhaps a little mess but that’s the good kind of mess.
But most of all, I love Ben Rich because he has a devilish look in his eyes. He knows when the bad weather is coming and he does love to surprise us with a cold snap. Oh, how I’d love to surprise him with a cold snap! Although I’m not sure what I mean by that. Well, I do but you’ll have to imagine the rest.
Ben Rich, I’m here for you… Or failing you, I’d settle for Philip Avery… Or Peter Gibbs… Damn it! I’d ever make a special case for Nina Ridge… Love you Nina, you sexy minx!