Wednesday, 1 May 2013

The Elbow: The Most Unappreciated Erogenous Zone

Elbows. Nearly everybody has them but almost nobody likes them.

The problem I often hear too often from people is that they find elbows too tough to chew, too rough to lick, and that pieces of skin tend to get stuck between their teeth. And that’s probably the case if you use your elbows to rest your weary head on your office desk or use them as blunt trauma weapons in your cage fighting career. Yet proper elbow care and regular sanding can make them one of the most exciting parts of your anatomy. You still don't believe me? Well try thinking of them as the knees of your upper torso and you might begin to see their potential.

If you don't know where to begin, then I suggest you begin with some exfoliation. Sand your elbows down until you begin to see the white of the bone shining through. Then oil them. Oil them like your rubbing liniment into the slightly arthritic hips of a bald cat. With these two preparations, you'll find the erotic possibilities of elbows opening up and you will attract a different class of lover.

You think there’s not much you can to with an elbow? Well, you'd be surprised. The elbows are perfect for sensual massage and a lubricated elbow is a pleasure to sit on like no other part of the body, not even the obvious ones. Get your lover to suck your elbow around Crank's Bend and you'd be surprised how good it feels. Trying sucking your lover's elbow under the Turkey Droop and you'll be surprised how good it tastes.

So, the next time your partner asks to do something new, suggest your elbow. Remember: it's the hardest part of your body and can take the weight of two fully grown adults wearing bottomless chaps and a cowboy hat.